What a life

Being a fitness instructor I am constantly being approached by members of my class who want to slim their thighs or flatten their tummy etc! The question is always 'what exercises can I do to.......? I always feel awful when I give them the answer because we're all looking for a quick fix and unfortunately that doesn't exist! The thing is, specific exercises can tone up certain muscles but if these are buried under six inches of fat you're not probably going to notice much difference unless you reduce the fat by dieting! As soon as I mention the word diet I see the glazed look descend, but hey that's the way it is! Most people who are trying to lose weight cut down on their grub and aim straight for the cardio machines at the gym. I always feel sorry for them, all red faced, sweaty, panting and gurning..bless! While it is important to exercise the heart and lungs with some cardio work and it does burn fat for a short period of time - the key to maintaining weight loss is pumping iron! Yep get those weights lifted and girls, no you won't bulk up because we just don't have the hormones! Plenty of muscle = a faster metabolism = burning calories even when you're sat on your arse watching tv = being able to eat more without putting on weight, yippee!

I taught my usual pilates class today, all the usual participants most of them over 60! Now I don't know whether you have ever done pilates but I like to add a bit of visualisation to help participants execute the moves correctly! Anyway today was no exception and during the class I started to teach an exercise where you draw a circle with your legs, moving from the hips either laying down with legs raised or in a seated position! So there I was stood at the front, and my class were starting the exercises in their various positions. Now was the time to add the visualisation bit so I told the class to imagine their feet were on a clock face at number twelve and to trace the numbers all the way round and back to twelve reversing it every time! I told them they may have a small clock or big clock depending on their strength - so far so good! Until a gentleman from the back (a bit of a joker) shouted out that he had a big clock! What I meant to reply was have you got a big clock John? But you can guess what I said! Bloody hell! Everything froze while I tried to suck the words back! Half the class sat bolt upright, one lady nearly swallowed her dentures,and then there was the hot flush - and that was me! I was so embarassed and they told me off as well! I daredn't open my mouth for the rest of the class it was awful! Never gonna teach them that exercise again!

Today I finally managed to drag my daughter Olivia kicking and screaming into town for her new school uniform! First stop New Look, they do trendy school pants but why do the black pants have either a white or pink belt? They can't wear the belt to school so what's the point! We got them anyway! Olivia spotted the most 'cool' pair of shoes - black patent with loads of buckles and 4inch stiletto heels! She actually thought she could have 'em ha ha! We fought for a while, I won ofcourse she sulked and walked 10 paces behind me for the next hour. By then I'd had enough and drove us both home.
On turning into my drive I saw that the garage door was open about six inches and smoke was pouring out! Olivia shouted fire! and we both jumped out of the car and ran to open garage door! Well once the bloody smoke had cleared there sat my idiot son Jamie and his idiot mate without a brain cell between them on a couple of deck chairs with a disposable bbq incinerating a number of unidentified frying objects! It had started raining so they decided to continue their little party undercover - why they closed the door god only knows, maybe they were trying to smoke the meat!?! Ah well they both live to cough another day!